Since writing that entry yesterday, I’ve spent my time trawling the internet for the perfect notebook.
THIS IS MY PROBLEM – I am such a starter… not a finisher.
I love love love looooove setting things up. I love setting up diaries, filofaxes, midoris! I love setting up my makeup station. I am obsessed with buying things to start something!
But I haven’t finished something in years! Gah!
I wonder if this is also reflected in my relationships… More on that some other time…
When I was in my early to mid twenties, I used to carry around a little Moleskine passport sized grid-lined notebook wherever I went. I was heavily into writing music then, and my ideas would pop up out of the blue, so I had to be prepared.
I haven’t carried around a notebook in close to 8 years, and that makes me feel really sad.
But what would I need with a notebook now? I don’t write music anymore. I don’t even sketch or write down my thoughts. Whipping out my notebook used to be instinctive. I thought different then.
I’m tempted to purchase one to carry around with me now, and see if there’s anything I really have to say.
Any ideas on prompts to use, anyone?
When I first moved to Melbourne I was adamant in working up to becoming a successful fashion/lifestyle blogger. I started writing ideas down, and planned posts way in advance. I took extra care in making sure curated my instagram account to reflect how I wanted my potential readers to view me and – for a while there – it actually started to work. I got more views on this site, and I definitely got more followers on instagram.
And then I started makeup artistry classes.
And then I moved house.
And then I got ill.
And then I got depressed.
And then I had a full-blown meltdown.
And now, a month later, I’m just tired. Tired and unsure of what I want for my online life.
I’ve realised something about myself: I hate the current blogging format.
I hate that blogs have turned into magazine articles with more photos than words. When did this happen? When did they stop being about your thoughts and feelings and start being about writing an essay filled with references?
When did the blog post become more about what the reader wants?
As always, I’m here to say that I want to return; I want to write again. But I don’t know if I can write for other people more than for myself. So I’ll write when I want and about whatever I want, and hopefully, people will want to read what I have to say. If they don’t, then that’s ok.
Gumtree, I love you.
New couch? All Sorted! Fuck yeah!
But I’m not done yet.
New digs, wonderful.
Even empty, you are home.
You make me happy.