Ngiler.

I’ve always watched you from afar. Half of me loves you and other half detests that I love you because You. Are. Beautiful. Beautiful to everyone. You’re one of those people that smiles that smile and “Oh! My! God! JPG’s RTW collection – AMAZING!” and I just sit there engulfed by you – all of you. Everyone is engulfed by all of you and everyone loves being around you. I realise then that God… It would be great to be you.

Then I start to feel pretty shit about being me – Jen Pitch- and how easy it seems to be for people like you who smile that smile with that twinkle in your eye to move onto the next big thing. Thing, person, song, whatever.  I always feel like I’m a hop, skip, jump behind.

But… I start to remember your track record; your old friends don’t coincide with present friends and I start to wonder why? Like me, do they all just feel… behind? A hop, skip or jump away? Or is it that nothing has really changed? The sex and drugs. The music. The bullshit art-talk that just goes nowhere but circles. Talk is great and all – and believe me I can talk but that constant clack-clack-clacking that seems to come out of your mouth? And your friends’ mouths? It’s the sound of static. Talk talk talk clack clack all I want to do is put my headphones in and listen to music that’s not cool enough for you which makes it so much cooler than you could ever be.

I don’t talk in circles. But my relationships with people are in circles. We grow together and love together and experience together and most importantly… they’re the same friends I’ve had for decades. Ups and downs, fights and makeups. Your relationships are straight lines. They start somewhere… and boy, do you have fun with that clack clack clacking about JPG and the silhouettes of Isogawa or the music of M.I.A but then they end. The straight line stops. Because someone gets bored of the circular static; the talks and promises of things. At the end, people want more than talk.

So I look at me. I certainly am not as beautiful as you. I don’t smile that smile. I don’t have that twinkle in my eye. People are not engulfed by me. But the relationships I keep are ones that last.

And then I realise that I feel pretty good about being me.

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Personal Philosophy

Next week on The Realvolution the topic is:”Personal Philosophy” – what is your personal philosophy that helps you get through life, or what is something that you try to live by?

For some reason I found this to be a very hard list to come up with. I don’t want to talk about the normal stuff that everyone comes up with – respect each other, love yourself, be healthy etc. I decided to  read other people’s personal philosophies to see if any of theirs would give me an “A HA!” moment.

This is what I came up with:

Life
(a) Make tough decisions and stick to them. Most people would rather have someone else make the difficult calls. The biggest determinant of what our life will look like is the decisions we make (and don’t make). Success is a choice.
(b) Look good 95% of the time – whatever you perceive “good” to be. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, it’s harder to get knocked down by outside influences.
(c) Don’t get offended when people tell you truths about yourself. If you don’t like those truths, you can do 2 things: either change, or learn to accept and love those truths.

Love
Love wholeheartedly. If things don’t go to plan at least you can be sure that you did everything you could to make it work.

Friends
Make time for friends no matter how busy or tired you are.

Happiness
Wake up every morning choosing to have a great day.

Failure
Successes make you feel great but mistakes make you grow.

Goals
When looking at a goal, don’t focus on the big things that can overwhelm you and make it difficult to move forward. Focus on the little things that you know you can control.

Will Smith said it best: ‘You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say, “I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built”. You don’t start there. You say, “I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.” And you do that every single day and soon you have a wall.’

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Margaret River

Two girlfriends and I took a 3 day break down in Margaret River on Monday. It was just what the doctor ordered.

After a rather rowdy holiday back in Jakarta (which, I have to admit, was way too short), it was so refreshing to get out into the country and spend some time at Bussell’s Bushland Cottages. The cottage had amazing facilities: two lovely bedrooms with Queen beds, a tv and dvd player, a newly renovated bathroom and a fully equipped kitchen!

It’s funny how your concept of nighttime ambience changes when  you spend a lot of time in one place. I’m so used to hearing planes fly overhead and motorbikes revving from Canning Highway that listening to the wind rustling in the trees was just… well, weird. The possums where bastardly too; I could hear them scuffling around on the roof above me.

On Day Two, our adventure started at Lake Cave. We meandered down 350+ (yes – that is not a typo!) steps to get to the main entrance to this absolutely amazing cave. When you stand at the very end of the cave, you are 62m below the ground. It was quite an amazing place to be.

It was an incredible sight, especially when our lovely tour guide turned all the lights out and we stood there in almost pitch blackness. I can’t even imagine the discoverers of the cave having to abseil down with nothing but candles as light!

After the amazing tour came the most difficult thing I’ve done in a while: having to climb the 350+ steps back up to the top. That… was an incredibly trying experience. But I did it! Slowly but surely, I made it back up. I’m so proud of myself. Usually, I wouldn’t have even bothered going on the tour if I knew how many steps there were. But I came to realise that it’s all about mind over matter as well as letting your body rest every now and then.

After lunch, we made a quick detour to Hamelin Bay, where we were told stingrays frequent the shoreline. As soon as we got there a massive ray came up to say hello and one of my friends gave it a little pat on its head.

Next stop was lunch at Providore (I had the calamari for my entree and gnocchi for my mains) and then it was time to head home. My legs felt like jelly hours after the cave experience so I decided to sit on the couch and not move for an hour.

We spent the evening munching on expensive cheeses, Turkish bread, dukkah, quince paste, carrots and crackers. Chased all of that with some wine.

What a day.

Day Three (yesterday) was the day we drove back home but not before having breakfast at Sea Gardens.

All in all, it was an amazing time with great friends that I just don’t get to catch up with enough.

It is now two days after the cave climb, and my legs are so sore that I’m finding it difficult just to sit down. I kind of just fall onto chairs (or the toilet) with my butt. I could do with not climbing stairs for another month.

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