One day my name will evoke good goosebumps.

I’ve been sitting in my new studio space for the past 2 hours, just soaking up the atmosphere. It’s a pretty amazing little spot. I’m hoping that with this new little space comes new customers, new ideas, and better promotion and marketing on my part.

God, I hate marketing. I hate it all. All I want to do is make beautiful clothes while someone else deals with all that marketing/business bullshit. I wish my name came with a certain fanbase that would just eat up everything I wanted to sell without much effort on my part.

But I’m not Beyonce. I’m not Tess Holliday. I’m not Gabifresh. I’m just Jen Pitch – founder and designer at Seraphim Clothing.

One day, maybe, but for now, I just have to keep slogging it, and try to enjoy myself while I’m at it.

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The new acceptable form of Bulimia.

{{ TRIGGER WARNING: Eating Disorders }}

I’m livid right now, friends, and I have been ever since I found out about this new type of weight loss procedure called The Aspire Assist.

Let’s watch their little video, shall we?

Right. So what you’re telling me here is that I can eat pretty much whatever I feel like – I could binge eat if I really wanted to (as long as I chew it all carefully, of course) – and 20 minutes after, all I have to do is empty a third of the contents of my stomach via a tube that leads out to a port on my belly?

You’re basically giving me your blessing to purge?

Does this sound familiar at all?

Because it sounds a lot like bulimia to me, minus the sore throat and bad teeth due to stomach acid in the mouth. Does that make it ok? Because it’s coming out of a different hole?

Bulimia is a mental health disorder. People with bulimia tend to show signs of depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorders. They’re also at risk for substance abuse problems and suicidal behavior.

Constant monitoring of food and weight can become an obsession. A person with bulimia may binge in secret and hide evidence of food and laxatives. Having to keep secrets contributes to the cycle of stress and anxiety.

Bulimia may cause moodiness and irritability. Compulsive exercising or preoccupation with appearance are common symptoms. It’s not unusual for someone with bulimia to spend a lot of time thinking about food and how to control it. This may be accompanied by feelings of embarrassment and shame. It’s hard to measure the emotional cost.
The effects of Bulimia on the body.

I mean, come on. You honestly think people aren’t going to take advantage of this procedure? I know what I’m like. I have a lap-band (which has caused so many problems that I’ll talk about in another post) and in the past, during strict diets, I would binge on carbs knowing that it would cause a blockage right where the lapbang squeezed my stomach, which would cause me to throw it all back up. I was so pleased with myself to have been able to taste the delicious carbs, but not let my body digest it.
I would be so tempted to use the Aspire Assist as a way to eat mac ‘n’ cheese croquettes all day every day, as long as I emptied the tube after every 20 minutes of stuffing my face.

How are these physicians going to guarantee the patient’s mental health will be ok? Every decision to eat something naughty will be made knowing that they can purge after.

This makes me sad, readers. It makes me sad that what the world is basically saying to us fat people is that it’s better to have an eating disorder than to be fat. It’s better to have your mental health compromised than be fat.

When will we be left alone?

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New Apartment!

BedroomsCollage-02_zps65fcf122So guess what, beautiful people! I have just signed a lease for a beautiful little apartment! I am so stoked; this is my first actual place ever! I’ve been very lucky to live alone while still being in the safety of my parents’ house since they always lived in a different country. But this time, this place is all mine. I’ve been spending my days trawling Pinterest and Google for ideas for how to decorate my new place and I am getting so overwhelmed! I have to buy literally everything for it, and being so new to Melbourne, I don’t know where all the good (but cheap) 2nd hand stores are.

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I’m trying to stay positive about how overwhelming all of this is. It’s an amazing opportunity, and I am so thankful that I was approved to spend a year in this beautiful unit. I can’t wait to show you pictures as I slowly decorate a space and make it completely mine.

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How positive thinking helped me get a job!

Last Thursday, I woke up feeling absolutely terrible. I was disappointed in myself for not having a job. I couldn’t believe that after being in Melbourne for over 4 months I still hadn’t found anything.

From there, I started thinking about my other shortcomings and I could tell I was going to spiral if I didn’t nip it in the bud.

I shook off that negativity and made a plan for the day, because there is nothing worse than someone who can make things better for themselves but chooses not to. I closed my eyes to think positive thoughts. I suddenly remembered that it wasn’t that I was getting knocked back from job opportunities – it was that I wasn’t even applying for them in the first place. I mean, hello!

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Thinking more positively helped me recall how I applied for a job at a very reputable retail company only a month or so before and they were interested in hiring me straight away, but I couldn’t taking the position due to scheduling conflicts. That was a hiccup, of course, but it still proved I had skills people were very interested in. I had to see the good in that!

I printed out a stack of resumes, got dolled up in a hot business-casual outfit and headed out to the nearest shopping centre to start handing them out. I walked in with major positive vibes and headed straight to a particular shop that I’ve been dreaming of working at since I first got to Melbourne, and guess what! They said they were looking for new staff and asked for an interview the very next day! I mean, how amazing is that?? The first shop I stopped at offered me an interview!

Long story short… I have a trial shift this Wednesday!

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Now, I’m not going to say that this opportunity was bestowed upon me by a magical unicorn of positivity because of my own optimism, but I do think that I could have missed out on this opportunity had I just stayed in bed feeling like there was nothing I could do about it.  Sometimes, your sadness can be solved. Sometimes, an overwhelming problem can be made a little bit easier by writing down a step-by-step plan of attack.

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